Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
