I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
