You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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