I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
