this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
