I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
