Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
