She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
