im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
