I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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