took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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