some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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