So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
