He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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