dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
