HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We are two peas in an std pod
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
