its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
