Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
