Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
