I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
