I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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