if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
