Your mouth is God's brothel.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
