She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
