Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
