Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need to calm my uterus...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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