As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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