I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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