Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
