so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
