Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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