she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
