I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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