I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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