What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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