So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
