So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
