You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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