I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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