I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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