Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
