Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
