I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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