I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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