also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
one might say we're banned from that church
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
