Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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