did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
