Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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