I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
