I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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