So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
